Do-it-yourself’ and long distance voice dialogue

Sometimes you want to find out what your own inner selves are doing or thinking and there is no one around who can facilitate you. If you have had even a little experience as a facilitator then there is really no problem. Even if you have only read this section and are yet to begin learning to facilitate there is nothing to stop you trying self-facilitation.                                                                               

All you need to keep in mind is that the role of facilitator is to remain positive and very much neutral while clearly believing in the existence of the selves. You might compare the role to that of the conductor of a large orchestra, helping the overall process but not playing any instrument nor favouring any one player over others. So the facilitator’s part can actually become so minimal that dialoguing without one need not be a problem.

Here are just a few ways you can facilitate yourself and still create a useful dialogue even when you are alone. See also separate page on using opposite hands for do-it-yourself written dialogue (actually one of the oldest and most powerful forms of voice dialogue).

Self facilitation using empty chairs

Set up a number of chairs as you would for a normal session. Place an empty chair where the facilitator would normally sit.

Start by sitting yourself in the middle or ‘safe’ chair and then move left or right to other chairs. After sitting in a chair talk from that position, out loud if you want to. Return to the safe chair after each voice or self has spoken and before moving to any other chair or self.

This kind of session works well if you find yourself being drawn towards any one particular chair. It does not matter that (until you get there) you usually will not know which self is going to speak.  This often leads to greater spontaneity than when another person is present as facilitator.

If you have had even a little experience with interviewing selves and being facilitated by someone else, you will find this form of do-it-yourself dialogue as easy and fruitful as an ordinary session.

Self facilitation using a desk or table

Prepare six or more large sheets of paper or cardboard. Seat yourself at the desk or table and spread the sheets over the surface at random.

When a self wants to ‘talk’ write down its initial comments on one sheet. If possible use these words to make some kind of identification or select a working name for that self. Continue, allowing different selves to comment each on its own sheet of paper.  Gold Coast facilitator Ron Bass goes one step further and actually ‘balances’ the energies of polar opposite selves by moving the sheets around the desk.

Inner self ‘family’ meetings

Sit at a table, choose one chair for the facilitator, then move round from chair to chair and let each self speak in turn. Go back to the facilitator chair after each self speaks and make a short note about what it said. Then move on to the next chair and the next self. There is no need to identify in advance which self is in which chair. Just go there and whichever self is ready to talk will begin either to speak or at least have a feeling or point of view on something important to you.

Facilitating by telephone facilitating by telephone

It’s not really necessary to have the facilitator in the same room. Facilitating by phone works quite well for many people    and is worth trying.

Internet facilitation

I know of a number of people who now use internet ‘chat’ systems to facilitate each other. It’s a bit slower, having to type in all the words but it does give you access to experienced facilitators anywhere in the world.

Free Inner Self Profile Sheet
For many years I have been using an Inner Self profile sheet that allows you to keep a visual record of your inner selves as you meet and talk with them. There are different places for different kinds of selves on the sheet according to their different energies or the different ways they do things to protect you.
If you would like a free copy of the latest version of this Profile sheet please send an email to
john@growingaware.com  Please include the header FREE INNER SELF PROFILE (Sorry ....I have no idea why but Comcast will not permit me to reply to any Comcast e-mail address. Please give me an alternate reply address such as Yahoo or Hotmail)


Feedback - please e-mail  me John Bligh Nutting -   at   nutting@growingaware.com


Copyright John Nutting 1996- - 2004  and     GROWING AWARENESS   All rights reserved World Wide

Don't worry about these copyright notices at the foot of each page. It just means I want to hang on to legal ownership of what I write for use in future books.  Until that day, please feel free to copy and even adapt them for your own use and for friends as long as you acknowledge me as the author and owner of the copyright and you don't charge anyone for them. If you want to use them professionally or commercially (charge a fee for them) or for clients, each sheet you hand out must include full acknowledgment of copyright ownership as above and if  you are benefiting as a result, I would appreciate an appropriate sharing.

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