My own experience of Having my Inner Father Inducted by a Facilitator
This is just one example of how an inner parent Induction might go. The overall process is basically the same to that developed by Hal and Sidra Stone for growing a new self. Many other voice dialogue practitioners have since added to the induction process but its different for each person, so please dont just take what I have written and start inducting inner parents. Talk to me, Hal and Sidra, or your local facilitator.
1. The Facilitator began by talking to me as client in the middle chair, about my childhood memories of being fathered or parented. Then he suggested I move to a place in the room where I would be more comfortable talking (as Little John) about those memories.
2. The facilitator welcomed Little John then talked to Little John
about what he missed most, lacked or yearned for most but did not get from
his real father. The facilitator explained to Little John that it was
possible for "grown-up John's aware ego" to create a new
aware or ideal inner father' who could meet these needs for him.
The facilitator also assured Little John that he did not have to do any of the work to create or induct the new inner father. Nor would he have to "help" the new inner father do his job afterwards. "This is grown-ups work and Big John, your grown up part is going to do it all for you. But you can help us by giving us a report when we check in with you from time to time, to make sure its working for you."
4. Little John described some of the things he missed out on as a child. He wished he had had a father who was stable and reliable and sober, firm but fair. He wanted an aware Dad with a strong spiritual energy (but not religious) to guide him, a brave Dad who would shield a little boy from the scary things around him. Above all he wished hed had a Dad who was flexible and who would say to Little John "You can choose" and would not worry about always being right. He also wanted a Dad with a deep firm voice who would speak up on behalf of Little John. The facilitator supported and validated Little Johns responses.5. The facilitator then asked me to return to the centre or safe chair and move into my adult awareness but to try to stay connected to Little John. He then suggested I (Big John) draw on my own ideas of people I could think of who had some of the individual qualities little John had described and said he was yearning for. He explained they could be real people, characters from films, plays, books, fairy stories, archetypes, Gods, Goddesses, or anything else that came to mind (including animals or even objects). They could even be positive qualities I already displayed as a father towards my own children. The facilitator explained that its good to mix several characters, qualities energies or archetypes into the new inner father.
6. Big John (with some help from the facilitator) came up with a
fascinating list of energies. He decided to draw spiritual energy and
wisdom from two sources, one a Celtic Druid, one a Buddhist priest, to
provide Little John with guidance and awareness, blended with flexibility.
Gary Coopers energy as he was in "High Noon" provided a
strong, quiet yet very firm energy to set limits on what people would and
would not be allowed to do to Little John. The voice of the new Inner
father was deep and resonant like that of Wotan the Chief Nordic God in
Wagners Ring Cycle.
7. The facilitator began the actual "Induction" process, asking me first to draw in each of the new father energies, then to incorporate them all into one new inner villager and then to move to a new position and become Little John's new inner father. The facilitator then dialogued with the new inner father, welcomed him and discussed the job ahead, helping him visualise his role and encouraging him it to play his part.
NOTE: It is at this point a common problem is that memories of the internalised real father can block the process temporarily. It's likely that the Inner Matriarch might also step in and try to upset the process. My internalised Dad appeared uninvited, as he did in real life, and started to ridicule the whole process, saying I did not need another father, he had taught me to be tough enough to stand on my own two feet etc etc. The facilitator spent a little time dialoguing with the old internalised father villager and then asked it to leave, before continuing
9. The facilitator then suggested my Inner Dad might like to walk over to Little John, who you might remember was left energetically in the side chair where he had been facilitated earlier. Inner Dad spoke to Little John, introducing himself and asked if he could give the little boy a cuddle. Little John was delighted, accepted and was picked up and hugged by his new father. (My experience with others is that this may or may not work. If the inner child is not ready to be picked up, its important not to pressure it)
10. The facilitator then said goodbye to the new inner father, and I returned to the middle aware ego chair. We joined in aware ego to aware ego or mind to mind linkage, I cannot remember which, and discussed what had happened.
Well thats my experience of having my Inner father inducted. As I said above, it was one of the most powerful and moving experiences in my ten years working with inner selves, Little John and classic voice dialogue. And not just while it was happening. So much is different for me since then. Of course after that I soon had my new Inner Mum inducted, which was similar in some ways, different in others.
My special thanks to facilitators Dean and Keith who worked with me on these most significant events.
For more detailed information on the inner father inner mother induction process and why it works click here
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